A confession I had to make,
Ever since I was grade 7, I felt like may something talaga na kakaiba sa'kin. Hindi ko lang masyadong pinansin, kasi during that time, masyado pa akong naive, I thought it was just a phase, a simple attraction na nagagandahan ako sa girls.
But everything made sense to me when I met this girl during 1st year of college. I know in myself that I'm not yet fully healed to my past situationship, but that girl was the reason kung bakit ko na-realize sa sarili kong hindi pala talaga ako straight. I was so confused to that point of my life kasi iba talaga yung nafe-feel ko sakanya. Ang weird lang na nasa healing stage ako, pero nagkaroon ako ng interest or siguro happy crush, at sa isang babae pa.
Hindi ko alam kung anong nakita ko sakanya, ayaw kong maging komplikado, siguro masyado lang vulnerable yung puso ko during that time kaya ako nagkagusto, pero the fact that I liked her sa halip na sa lalaki, I can't deny that. However, just like what I expected, things didn't turned out really well. Hindi ko na gugustuhin pang ma-associate pa with that girl kasi honestly, she is a whole red carpet.
Despite the fact na ganon nga yung nangyari, hindi ko pa rin maikakaila na she was the reason kung bakit ko mas nakilala yung sarili ko. Siya yung naging dahilan kung paano ko nakayanan mag-come out in front of many people. Nung time na gusto ko siya, she was the main reason kung paano ako nagkaroon ng courage para maging proud sa kung ano nga ba talaga ako.
Hindi talaga ako nagtatanim ng kahit anong hatred, and thankful ako that I met her because I was at my happiest during those times that I like her.
Hmmm, now that I am fully accepting who I am, I learned that things that happened on my past lead me to where I am right now.
:)
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