Yes, I had. Hindi ko naman maitatanggi. I never really had any palusot why I did that. Siguro if I didn't do that, our friendship will remain as it is.
I met her when we were in 7th grade. I felt comfortable around her, she was so nice to me. Lagi siyang mapagbigay ng food niya every recess, at higit sa lahat, she doesn't have two faces. Siya yung taong wala nang paligoy-ligoy, sinasabi niya agad-agad.
A lot of our classmates were so afraid of her. They say she's mean pero I think she's often misunderstood on her actions. We were always together during our 8th grade tapos there was a time when she shouted at me. It felt like dejavu because I used to experience that in home. Hindi ko nalang pinansin kasi baka stress lang siya or something.
But when she repeated it again, parang gusto ko nang humiwalay. Deserve ko ba ito? Pati ba naman dito sa school mararanasan ko ito? Pero binalewala ko na lang ulit.
Hanggang sa dumating yung 9th grade. We became a trio. Hindi talaga maiiwasan na may maiwanan. I felt that too but I didn't fix the problem. Dumagdag pa ako sa gulo. I played the victim during that time. While the girl that being left out feels so betrayed.
During those times, sinisisi ko lang yung sarili ko. Dapat sinabi ko yung issues ko with her, na I feel afraid whenever someone shouts at me. But I didn't do it. Siguro it's for the best. Ang toxic ko sakanya, she just being honest with me. Inabot pa ako ng halos one year to apologize for what I did.
Habang iniisip ko yon ngayon, I am not expecting something like she will forgive me, pero sana she's doing good.
Yours truly, nissy
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