I really wanted to be a violinist ever since I was a toddler. Kahit maalam lang ako tumugtog or kahit alam ko lang yung basic information, matutuwa na ako. During the time that I grow up naman, I always hear others say, mag-diet ka naman! Ang taba-taba mo na. Tapos when I started hitting puberty, my pimples on my noo popped up all at once. It was my insecurity back then, which causes me to be afraid of socializing kasi iba yung anxiety na nadudulot sakin lalo na nga dahil sa mga nagsasabi about my body nung bata ako.
We had a violin last December 2019, Christmas gift samin ni mama. Pero hindi namin agad na-practice ng araw-araw kasi may iba pa kaming priorities nung mga time na yon, and I'm not motivated to continue because I don't know the reason why would I start learning in the first place.
Quarantine started and I never thought of practicing, kasi I have other things to consider. Lalo na yung mental and physical health ko nung time na yon. I remember crying every night because of that one guy that made me broken. I also binge eat because it was so stressful at that time. I isolate myself in my room for like a month because I was literally crying every time I remember what happened to me.
I started to change my lifestyle. I tried to not eat too much so I stopped binge eating and made myself focus on the other things that will make me happy. I just watch a lot of kdramas to make myself busy. At that time, I was slowly healing and when my mental health is good, I started to change my physical features.
I drank a lot of water, ate healthy foods. Tapos in the process, I slowly control the junk foods that I eat para di mabigla yung body ko. I tried to do the chloe ting challenge but it lasted for only 2-3 weeks. I installed tiktok and it was so educational. Marami akong natutunan. Ate Nicole Caluag really changed me in terms of my body. She always say calorie deficit in her ulam of the day serye which I did in like 4 months (August-November 2020.) I lost 11 kg in those months tapos hindi ko na masyadong napapansin yung pimples ko, which is nawala na rin. My clear skin that I always wish I could have finally appeared! Fast forward ngayong August 2021, I am currently enjoying my life. I'm still doing the calorie deficit to maintain my body.
Usapang Violin naman, I started practicing it on July 28, 2021. It was really hard at first, lalo na't walang guma-guide sakin kase self learner lang ako. Pero habang tumatagal, nasasanay narin ako. Sa youtube lang ako natututo and so far, nakakaya ko nang tugtugin yung Gypsy Firelight ni Ms. Sparrow, although wala pa sa timing pero matutunan ko rin yun sa susunod pang mga araw. I am happy that I found the reason why I'm doing this.
That reason is because I want myself to learn something new that I never expected to achieve before. What I learn from the weight loss that happened is that we don't need to please others for what they see on us. If you have that confidence and you see that you are unique, you don't have to think what others say onto you because they don't have the confidence you have on you.
Always remember the 10 seconds rule:
You shouldn’t point out things about people’s appearances if they can’t fix it in ten seconds.
Yours truly, nissy
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