Siguro while growing up, we always hear others say that everything happens for a reason. There are moments that we regret doing in the past and just wish to forget it instantly.
There's a part in me which I am thankful for what he did to me, pero I have this feeling inside na what if I didn't take the risk in the first place?
What if I didn't confess?
What if I ditched him on that day?
What if we never had any conversation?
What if I never talked to him?
What if I just consider him as a friend?
I think it would be better if we didn't met at all.
But in all those what ifs, I miss the butterfly feeling inside my stomach, all those stuttering moments I had just to talk to him. I liked him since 2014, the longer I liked, the deeper my feelings evolve.
Since a lot of things happened, ilang red flags narin ang nagpakita, I still chose to trust him, until he ghosted me and cheated on me.
We haven't talk at all ever since he greeted me on my birthday, I tried to forget all those painful memories pero bumabalik. I wish I didn't experience any of those. Sana I focused nalang on academics. Pero wala na eh, nangyari na.
I don't know if he kept all the letters and poems I got for him, he can throw it away or cherish it; I don't know, siya na bahala. This will be the last letter that I will dedicate on him. I hope he is doing great. I can't say magmomove-on na ako because we never really had a thing, like it's a big no we're still kids! But yeah, I think it's time to let him and my feelings go na dapat matagal ko nang ginawa; stay healthy, nicho.
Yours truly. nissy
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