You are healing but the scars will remain

Small progress is still progress. Just do the next right thing. The peace that you will gain throughout this season will be worth everything that you've lost.

Let go completely, nissy. You are doing the right thing. I know it's hard for you, but someday, it will be all worth it. Everything will make sense. So habang maaga pa, mas isipin mo yung sarili mong kapakanan kaysa ibang tao. Walang mawawala sa'yo. Mahahahanap mo pa yung sarili mo.

Maybe the purpose of it all was to make yourself realize na sarili mo lang yung makakapuna ng lahat ng kulang. Sarili mo lang sapat na. Sa sarili mo makikita yung tunay mong halaga. Walang ibang tao yung makapagdidikta kung sino ka ba talaga.

Someone told me kilala mo ba yung sarili mo?

Napaisip ako, kilala ko nga ba? Siguro? Kung tatanungin nila ako, sino ba talaga ako?

Jannice, Nissy, isang taong... masipag mag-aral, achiever since young. Ano pa ba? I can't fully describe myself. Masyado kong binababa yung sarili ko. Hindi ko nga siguro kilala yung totoong ako.

Despite all of things that happened to me, natutunan ko na sa sarili ko mahahanap yung totoong pahinga, na hindi ko dapat binigay sa iba. I once turned someone into my home, my safe space. But that was a wrong move, a fucking teenage mistake. Wala na yung taong yun sa buhay ko ngayon, which made me feel unalive.

Siguro kaya ako nagkakaganito ngayon, na para bang nawalan ng kulay yung mundo ko. Nawala yung saya, yung sigla, yung totoong mga ngiti at tawa, kasi tinuring ko siyang mundo ko. Kaya ako nasasaktan ng ganito.

Maybe, it was a mistake. Mali na ganon yung naging mindset ko. Kaya apektado ako, nakadepende sakanya yung emotions ko 

At ngayon narerealize ko na, kung bakit hanggang ngayon, hindi parin ako nakakamove on. All of this started as a happy crush but I wasn't able to control my emotions or my feelings over him. Maybe I became way too obsessed. I'm deeply mad in love with that ub guy.

But it is so unhealthy nissy, you have to control it. You must control it. Lalo na ngayon, hinding-hindi mo dapat hinahayaan yung sarili mo na i-take over niya yung puso at isipan mo. Please lang nissy, mag move on ka na. Enough is enough, tama na. Don't be too fool. Matauhan ka na.